I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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