i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
