I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
