Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
barbara walters just said penis...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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