Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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