Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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