I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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