I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You took a bar mat shot.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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