I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
