She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
