these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
jump out the window naked night went bad
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
