I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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