There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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