I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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