Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
