chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
