plz talk dirty to me
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
