'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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