Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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