So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
