apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
