White coat. Heels.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize