I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize