If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
