maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
