This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize