Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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