maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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