We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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