I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
