Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So apparently I’m into choking now
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
