I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize