im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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