haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
birth control should be required to get into college
drinking out of a sandbucket again
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
