I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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