yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
