I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
