i came on her dog
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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