Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
