i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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