i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
