You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
