i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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