I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
