so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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