redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
