We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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