ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize