ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
