I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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