another moral hangover. fuck.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
birth control should be required to get into college
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You were trust falling into bushes
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
