Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
