Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He felt like a one man threesome
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
