I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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