Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
