He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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