As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
organizing the empties. That sober.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
