so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
