It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
