Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
