I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
