bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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