i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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