My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
