When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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