I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
