Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Pants are for mortals
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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