Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm just crazy horny about you
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
